Saturday, March 20, 2010

Remembering Evan

1I will extol you, O LORD, for you have drawn me up
and have not let my foes rejoice over me.
2O LORD my God, I cried to you for help,
and you have healed me.
3O LORD, you have brought up my soul from Sheol;
you restored me to life from among those who go down to the pit.
4Sing praises to the LORD, O you his saints,
and give thanks to his holy name.
5 For his anger is but for a moment,
and his favor is for a lifetime.
Weeping may tarry for the night,
but joy comes with the morning.

6As for me, I said in my prosperity,
"I shall never be moved."
7By your favor, O LORD,
you made my mountain stand strong;
you hid your face;
I was dismayed.

8To you, O LORD, I cry,
and to the Lord I plead for mercy:
9"What profit is there in my death,
if I go down to the pit?
Will the dust praise you?
Will it tell of your faithfulness?
10 Hear, O LORD, and be merciful to me!
O LORD, be my helper!"

11You have turned for me my mourning into dancing;
you have loosed my sackcloth
and clothed me with gladness,
12that my glory may sing your praise and not be silent.
O LORD my God, I will give thanks to you forever!

This is what I want to say about the past year. This Psalm pretty much says it for me. I fell into a pit. I fall back into it every once in a while, but He pulls me out. I can look at Evan and remember his soft skin and his sweet feet and all the little things about him and rejoice because I had him. Don't get me wrong, I still fall, but I can pull myself back up. And if I can't pull myself back up He gives me a reason to. Looking forward to his first birthday I fell hard. Then Carolina was born during a time that was "Evan's time", but I realized that it was OK and it helped me out of the pit. I am thankful Evan was here. I would have loved to have had him for more than six days, but I have to trust God for his reasons and just be thankful to have had him.


Julie said...

God is good and ever faithful. I'm thankful that He speaks to you with this scripture. I'm continuing to pray for you and remembering Evan.

I love you! :)

CHATTY CATHY 1975 said...

I've spent the better part of my Monday reading about Evan. My heart aches for any mom who has to be physically apart from her baby. Rest assured your little boy has touched so many peoples hearts. You will be in my thoughts and prayers for many many months to come!

chadandnikki said...

I needed these verses.

christina said...

being on the other side of that first year,,...and expecting with you...i just anticipate so many more emotions to come..the day of her birth. the moment i will say 'here is your baby sister, cana. how i wish she could have met you..." but then i wonder...will she have a knowledge of her big sister because of how close to God we are when we are in the womb and perfect and without sin? I think yes! I cling to this we wait in Hope..FOR our HOPE to be born. I am still so with you in your journey. remembering with you as you celebrate Evan in the new life you hold in your arms.

Rebecca said...

I think I will keep falling into that pit until 'everything has been made right'.

Remembering Evan with you.