Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Can someone please explain

why people honk and wave and stop us to look at this car? We were at my brother's house Sunday night and someone actually rang the door bell to look at the car. Sean is like a kid in a candy store. I mean, don't get me wrong, it is a pretty car. I guess I just don't understand. Neighbors who have never talked to us were in our garage Saturday night. Anyway, Sean is happier than I have seen him in a long time and Grace is loving the attention it draws. Garrett and I are pretty much just along for the ride! LOL!

Please say a prayer

Lexie is a scrapping friend of mine. We both found out we were pregnant about the same time, and were due a couple of weeks apart. We both also found out our babies had potentially fatal issues about the same time. Evan's was with his heart and as we found out at birth Trisomy 13. Ethan had kidney issues. When Ethan was born they found out his was not as severe as they thought. He would need a surgery, but they could fix it. He had his surgery last Thursday. He came home from Childrens and was doing good. Then he took a turn for the worse and ended up in the hospital here. They sent him to Children's last night with pneumonia and some kidney function loss. He has gotten better since he arrived at Childrens. There is some blockage and they may have to do more surgery. So please say a prayer for my friend.
If you would like to send her an email go here http://www.archildrens.org/your_visit/email_patient.asp and they will print it out and take it to her room. We received some messages this way and it really helped lift our spirits to know someone was praying for us and thinking of us. Thank you.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Evan's memory page

is up on the Living with Trisomy 13 website. I have started writing this and stopped so many times because I did not think I could put into words his life. I may add more to it later, but it is there now. http://www.livingwithtrisomy13.org/MemoriesofEvanB.htm

Monday, June 22, 2009

Happy Late Fathers Day

I know I am a day late, but things got kind of crazy yesterday. I just wanted to post some of my favorite pictures of Sean with the kids. He truly is an amazing father. This past year has been so hard on our family and he is our rock. I just can't put into words what it was like to watch him with Evan. Anyway, Sean, I hope you had a wonderful Fathers day, aside from losing your wedding ring and all that. It is amazing how I can look back and see God's hand in bringing you into our lives and our family. I love you.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Three Months

There is no foot so small that it cannot leave an imprint on the world. - anonymous

It has been three months since Evan went to Heaven. To Evan it probably seems like a minute, but to us it feels like a lifetime since we held him.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

He Would Have Been Three Months Old Today.

I miss him.

The song "Always" has been on my mind all day.
I believe always, always
The Savior never fails
Even when all hope is gone
God knows our pain
And His promise remains
He will be with you.

After Evan passed away I could not listen to this song. The first verse say "He would have been three today, I miss his smile, I miss his face." I just could not fathom there would be a day when Evan should be three, I could not look that far into the future. To be quite honest, I still can't. I miss him, I can't really miss his smile, because I never saw him smile. I do miss his little six toed foot. I do miss how he would relax when we got to hold him. I do miss how he held our fingers and how much seemed to love that. I do miss Sean guessing how much his diapers would weigh after each diaper change. I miss being able to touch his soft skin.
I miss him.

April Rose

is not real. If you have no idea what I am talking about, just skip this post. I am going to post about Evan later, but I don't want this post to touch my precious son.
To say when I found out I was hurt would be an understatement. I was hurt and angry. One thing going through all this has taught me is to look past the anger and see what the big picture is. I am thankful there is not a baby about to be born and lost because of Trisomy 13. I, and several other mom's who have lost a child to any disease or accident, fight a daily battle to pull ourselves out of a pit of anger and pain. Part of that battle is to forgive the people who say the wrong thing, and this falls into that category. I don't know "b" but I do know that she needs prayer. It is not the prayer that I have been praying for her, but I do believe that God heard my prayer and the prayer of many others, and He knows what she needs. I will continue to pray for her. And to tell the truth this is quite hard. I feel like she took my pain and mocked it. She took my son and mocked what he went through. So I will also be praying that God will continue to help me forgive. I will pray that when I think of this, God will soften my heart to be able to pray past my pain for "B" to get the help she needs. Anyway, that is how I feel about that.

Tuesday, June 09, 2009


has just been crazy lately. I was so looking forward to school being out. Lazy days of sleeping in and laying by the pool. Yea, not quite happening that way. This week, GW is in VBS which is not so bad. MG has speed camp, softball camp, softball games, and tennis lessons. When we are at home, the kids are asking where we can go. It is just n.u.t.s.