Remembering Evan

1I will extol you, O LORD, for you have drawn me up
and have not let my foes rejoice over me.
2O LORD my God, I cried to you for help,
and you have healed me.
3O LORD, you have brought up my soul from Sheol;
you restored me to life from among those who go down to the pit.
4Sing praises to the LORD, O you his saints,
and give thanks to his holy name.
5 For his anger is but for a moment,
and his favor is for a lifetime.
Weeping may tarry for the night,
but joy comes with the morning.

6As for me, I said in my prosperity,
"I shall never be moved."
7By your favor, O LORD,
you made my mountain stand strong;
you hid your face;
I was dismayed.

8To you, O LORD, I cry,
and to the Lord I plead for mercy:
9"What profit is there in my death,
if I go down to the pit?
Will the dust praise you?
Will it tell of your faithfulness?
10 Hear, O LORD, and be merciful to me!
O LORD, be my helper!"

11You have turned for me my mourning into dancing;
you have loosed my sackcloth
and clothed me with gladness,
12that my glory may sing your praise and not be silent.
O LORD my God, I will give thanks to you forever!

This is what I want to say about the past year. This Psalm pretty much says it for me. I fell into a pit. I fall back into it every once in a while, but He pulls me out. I can look at Evan and remember his soft skin and his sweet feet and all the little things about him and rejoice because I had him. Don't get me wrong, I still fall, but I can pull myself back up. And if I can't pull myself back up He gives me a reason to. Looking forward to his first birthday I fell hard. Then Carolina was born during a time that was "Evan's time", but I realized that it was OK and it helped me out of the pit. I am thankful Evan was here. I would have loved to have had him for more than six days, but I have to trust God for his reasons and just be thankful to have had him.